We had a party here at 4:30 this morning. Wish you all could have made it, it was jammin'!

I've been talking to my sister Helga for the last hour. She is 15 years older than me and lives in Michigan. We discussed my younger brother and the situation here and my older brother who lives up there near her. Then we started talking about our parents. My mom grew up in a house with an alcoholic father and an enabing mother. She learned the enabling behaviour well. I see it everytime an issue with my brother comes up. I just found out tonight about my father's childhood. I knew that his mom worked long hours in a textile mill and only had a 3rd or 4th grade education. I also knew that his father died from an injury he got at work (he was working at a racetrack in a pit I believe). Well, I always assumed that Pop Beam was injured and died shortly afterward when daddy was an adult. The injury happened when daddy was a small child and Pop Beam lived for many years in a rest home where he was confined to a wheelchair and drank to ease the pain. Daddy had no father role model. His mom took care of everything and that is how his marriage with my mom has always gone. He does the cooking and pays the bills, but he leaves a lot for her to take care of, mainly where the children are concerned. Mom has always been an extreme disciplinarian (because thats the way she was raised) and my dad has always been very very permissive. I've always known that my family had very disfuncional roots, but I'm only cracking the surface here...Its a wonder I'm not more screwed up! (I'm making light of this, I know, I just don't know what to think really). The most surprising part of my conversation with her tonight was learning about daddy's childhood. I can't believe I never knew all of that! I'm 25 and have never asked him! :(

My brother is such an ass. He doesnt take care of himeself, hes smoking again, and hanging around the wrong people once again. Hes 23, lives at home and works part time delivering pizza. Tonight, I went to Sam's club with my parents and got a 55 lb bag of dog food. I nicely asked him to put it in my truck before he left for work. He told me to "shut up!" and walked out the door. I hollared at him not to worry about it and the next thing I heard was a big crash outside and looked to see about 20 lbs of my dog food all over the yard and driveway. The jerk had thrown it down. He then yelled at my mom and got in his car and left it all for us to clean up. I tell ya, I love my son dearly, but he wouldn't be allowed to stay in my home and act the way my brother acts! He would have been required to shape up or move out years ago!

Friday Five


1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well? Leo but I can't say that it fits me. I have never checked.

2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received? Probably the year I got nothing.

3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received? A trip to the beach

4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far? The year mentioned above. We went to Wilmington, NC that year. It was beautiful. I think about that area all the time. Its never been my home, but it feels like home to me.

5. What are your plans for this weekend? I am hoping that Saturday my friend Robin will help me start on Megan's quilt. Sunday is family day. I need to take a baby gift to a shower and then I think we will go to Cracker Barrel for dinner.

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

You have got to be kidding me! I mean, I like N'sync and all, but can you say media whore??

I'm so happy for Jim Shea. He truly diserved to win his gold medal. It was aweful to hear that after 70 years, his grandfather was killed last month by a drunk driver. His memory lives on though and I can't think of a better outcome for today. I can't find a story online, but Apollo Ohno won the gold for the short track event in speed skating. He crossed the line in second place but the first place skater was disqualified.

I am ERNIE.

Everyone loves to hang out with me.


Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

This really pisses me off! I was too angry to blog or post this anywhere on Monday. I took the kids over to my IL's house on monday evening so I could use MIL's serger on a skirt I am making for myself. (I'll mention now that MIL's mom who is totally crippled from Rhuem. Arthritis and has spent 40 years in a wheelchair lives with them...or they live with her, however you want to look at it.) Anyway, I had Dawson in her room and she was in bed. I just listend to her talk about stuff and complain as normal and then she says to me "you sure are lucky to have such good inlaws." I said "yes I do and I'm lucky to have good parents too." She said, "well your inlaws have bought you a house and are spending all their time and money fixing it up." I got so angry but I try to remember that she isn't herself anymore. I said "they didn't buy US that house, they bought that house as an investment and they will still be renting it out long after WE move out of it" as calmly as I could. Then she starts into her negative crap about how FIL has used all his vacation days on that house and that she hopes that maybe one day we can buy a house thats ours, blah blah blah. I called Josh as soon as we left and told him that he either needed to say something to her or I would probably blow up the next time she said something like that to me. I know we haven't been in the best financial shape and had a hard time paying our bills for several months. Its not something we are proud of or flaunt. They don't know the 1/2 of it and we prefer it that way. I can't say its none of my IL's business because we have had a hard time paying them rent for the house we are in now. But, it surely isn't any of J's Nanny's business! I gotta wonder how many people think we are complete slugs because she has gossiped about us to them. I'm sure they already know that my kids don't get vaccines or that I don't keep a totally neat house. I'm not going over there for the rest of this week if I can help it. We normally eat sunday lunch with them and I'm gonna do my best to stay away from that too or we will eat and leave. I try to go over there at least 5 times a week because it brightens their days to see the kids, but not when I leave feeling like total shit.

To do this week:
Clean out the fridge and freezer
Buy and wrap housewarming gift
Wrap baby shower gift
Make copies of and mail taxes
Make thisfor Megan(of course I did the fun one first. :D)
Change sheets on the beds

We saw the weirdest thing today. We were headed toward downtown Hickory and in front of us, a dodge truck ran into the back of a Kia sportage. It hit it hard enough to completely demolish the back end and push the Sportage into the parking lot to the right of it. But, neither of them stopped. The Sportage changed lanes (How either driver could function to keep going after that, I don't know) and then turned left into the strip mall. The Dept. of Motor Vehicles is on the end of that strip and I thought they were pulling over there, but they pulled behind the building and Josh said he was gonna stop because he was a witness. So, he pulled back there and they were both just standing outside the vehicles talking (we both thought it looked like they knew each other and neither again looked shook up. If I had been the sportage driver, I would have wanted to go to the hospital. There was glass all over that vehicle) and Josh asks if they want him to call anyone. The guy (who we both thought was driving the truck) says that they dont' need anyone to call so we assumed that they had called. Josh just felt something was odd so he pulled back around front and parked where we could still see the back of the truck on the otherside of the building. After a min he said he was gonna call because he didn't believe they had, and guess what... A few min later I looked over and the truck was gone, sure enough they had both taken off. We waited for the officer and gave a report of what happened. 5 min later as we were driving into town we passed the Sportage and the man was driving it. The only thing we could think of is that they didn't have liscense or insurance. Anyway, when we got home this evening, the officer had called and it seems they both decided to report the accident after the fact. I can't imagine how that is done without a police report, but anyway, Josh will most likely be called as a witness by the insurance company. Seeing the glass all over the sportage scared me. Dawson is facing the back window of my Blazer and if that were to happen I don't want to know what it would do to my baby.

We went out to eat this evening with my parents at a mexican restraunt and then out for ice cream. It was a really nice day. Josh was off and we took Megan to play in the soft play area at the mall and then I got a few things at Target. I wish we had more days like that!