Me: One of my canteloupe plants is gone, what could have happened to it? Would something eat it all the way down to a tiny stump?

MIL: Could have been a rabbit maybe, who knows, could have been anything.

FIL: {sheepishly} Or it could have been the weed wacker.

Me: You didn't!!!!

FIL: Well, I was trying to get as close as possible, and I got a little too close.

If he didn't abhor canteloupe, I would believe him that it was an accident...not sure I do though.

Josh and I talked last night and he is going to see about taking the money out of our IRA to pay cover as much of the taxes as possible. It will probably wipe us out and leave us paying at the end of the year (or we will have to pay more weekly) but it will help anyway without leaving it to come out of our checking account. We already had to take a pretty substantial amount out a few months ago to keep my blazer from being taken back. Things really are looking up but everytime I get excited that things are better, something like this gets me down. Luckily, Josh didn't let it bother him. I was so afraid of ruining his mood when he found out yesterday. He sold something though, so that helped I'm sure. I cancelled our vacation with the rest of my family next month. I told daddy to call Fairfield (the timeshare people) and cancel our room. I want to go so bad and probably could still go without Josh but wouldn't have any fun stuck by myself with the kids while everyone else was out and about doing things that cost money. Josh is in a wedding the day before we were supposed to go and then we expect to be moving within the next couple of weeks after that and he will need time off to do that so we felt it was best to go ahead and cancel it. He told me that we WILL take a vacation of some sort this summer. If it works out we will go to MI and maybe I'll get to meet some groovy alterna-families! :)

Well, I was having a good day until about 10 min ago when I checked my mail. There were 3 envelopes. Ro sent me a nice note and 3 pictures of her girls. Thank you for thinking of me Ro! The pics are beautiful! I love the one of the girls in bed. The second was basically junk mail and the third was from the state dept of revenue. We still owe them over $700 and haven't been able to afford a payment in a long time because we made $15,000 more income two years ago than last year. We also owe almost $2000 to the fed. govt. Both are threatening now to garnish wages or levy (still not sure what that means.) Actually the state sent a copy to our bank nad they are garnishing now. THey can take up to 10% of Josh's income a month. We are already barely scraping by to get the necessities. I was going to get me and the kids an insurance policy (health) but I guess now that money is going to be taken to pay other things (if not more). I am so depressed and feeling like I need to get a job. :( Dawson isn't even 1 though and I can't fathom leaving him and Josh would never want me to take a 3rd shift job. Taking care of another child is out because I already feel emotionally spent just with my own 2. Dawson is exhausting. He already weighs at 8 months what Megan is weighing at 28 months. {sigh} Daddy was going ot loan us a few hundred that Josh would work off doing yard work, but he isn't sure he can loan it to us so now we are once again short on our rent if he can't help us out. I dont' know what to do, there really isn't much I can do except have a yard sale and sell everything that we don't need and that will only help a little bit. Or try ebay...I did that last month and put up 6 auctions. I sold 2 items and only got the minimum bid for them. They were all nice Osh Kosh and Carters clothes with the tags still on so I got frustrated and haven't done any more with them. :( Can they really take our money that we desperatly need to take care of our family? That really just doesn't seem right at all. Our vehicles have to be paid, our rent has to be paid, our insurance needs to be paid and so does our utilities. Other than that, I buy food and the occasional $20 or less item to keep myself from going nuts from being so poor. So much for getting myself plants now. :(:(:( I want to run off and hide somewhere or pull the covers up over my head and stay in the bed all day. ITs amazing how one little sheet of paper in my mailbox can do this to my entire day/week/month/year.

Crafting

I love to think about the possibilities in my head but when it actually comes to doing something I either lose interest, doubt my abilities and give up or put the idea away for another day when I have money. I have a book full of ideas pulled out of Family Circle, Women's Day, Martha Stewart Living or other mags. I love to watch Family Matters and Trading Spaces and I look for ideas to use. I spend very little time crafting right now though because its so hard to balance it with the kids. I have put the quilt down temporarily because I just don't feel like I have the energy in the evening to work on it and there are so many other things in my head that alot of it is that I'm not motivated. I saw an idea on Home Matters the other day that I think I want to try sometime very soon. Megan can help me while Dawson naps maybe. Problem is that there was lots of noise and I missed some of the instructions. She was painting clay pots with a mix of glaze, acrylic paint and something else. Then she drug a pattern in it by cutting out corregated cardboard in different sizes. Then the pot was turned upside down and the tray that would normally go under the pot was painted and set on top of the pot. She put chunky candles in two of these and then painted a third larger pot tray (whats the name of these? LOL) and put it in front for a candy dish. I want to make a set of these for my new kitchen counter to set in the corner. Speaking of which, I can't wait to get moved in. Looks like July is the goal. (unless it gets set back once again, keep in mind that last august was the first goal, then october, then april, now july. UGH) I just need to make myself do something fun thats just for me. Once my gardening ambitions are taken care of, I can concentrate on something like this.

toys
I'll just say that none of you would be impressed with our toy collection...its all hand me downs and stuff from relatives for the most part. 1/2 of it gets played with regularly but thankfully its all stuff I don't mind for the most part.

On to other things...
Josh worked on the flower beds all morning yesterday. He pulled out 4 of those icky azalea's (btw Julie Ann, while looking at flowering bushes I saw that there are many kinds of azaleas, some of them are pretty, the ones we had are not! LOL) and tilled up the soil. There are 3 huge old stumps that we will have to work around I'm afraid. That went well into the afternoon and I was getting HOT and tired and Dawson needed at nap so he and I went home at around 3 and he went to sleep and I showered. I figured it would be an hour nap at the most but it was more like 2 and we decided to just make a trip to Lowes since they are open late. That was our first mistake. I got there and picked up what I thought was a grape tomato plant. Well when I got home I found out it was a "Whopper." Anyway, we wondered up and down, up and down those aisles. I asked questions 4 different times to the employees and not one person could answer them. I found a pretty rose bush and decided I wanted it to plant Dawson's placenta with. I can't visualize things so I was lost in trying to landscape the yard and Josh forgot the pictures of the front and side of the house. GRRR! I came upon something called a "glory lilac." The only other thing the tag said was that it was red. No one could find me any info. so I decided to buy it anyway and look up the information online. Guess what, I can't find any info. I'm gonna stick it out and see what happens with it, if I don't like it, I'll move it later. I am frustrated! Mina, I know exactly how you feel. I have this vision of what I want but don't know how to make it a reality. I want a front yard that looks like a Thomas Kincaid print. Josh said it will take a lot of work but all I want at this point is the beginning of it. I found a Camellia nursery and I'm gonna go see them possibly on Saturday. If not, Josh will take me next week. They do best in shady areas but my mom has 2 that are pretty well in full sun so I'm sure that at least 1 variety will work.

Keegan won't go in her kennel tonight for some reason. Hope there isn't anything wrong with her. Last time that happened, she was really sick, but she had also puked and shit in it and Josh couldn't find anything out of the ordinary.

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[Angel.]

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Give it up for Baby Bubba!
He slept til almost 7 this morning! Woo Hoo!

I think I may have figured out the problem finally. I discounted teething and didn't really check because he just got 4 teeth a few weeks ago, but sure enough he has another one that I noticed yesterday while I was looking down into his mouth. Thankfully it was that and not a cold or something.

Today I am going shopping for plants. I want a SweetShrub (aka: AllSpice, Sweet Bubby bush-they smell heavenly to me!) and maybe a Camelia if they are not too expensive. Other things I'm looking at are Whisteria and Rhotodnedrums (sp?). I am open to other things too though. My plan is to buy one or two things a week until the yard looks fabulous. Right now there isn't anyhting in the front of the house that I want to see stay. Josh is going to pull 3 azelea (hate them!) bushes out that look like crap. Maybe they can fill out and look a little better somewhere else. I decided what to do with that old rock garden I ripped out a few weeks ago. Right now my canteloupes are growing there. This fall, Josh is going to raise it up about 6 inches and in the fall it will be for garlic and in the summer and spring it will grow my herbs.

I'm freakin' exhausted!
Dawson must have either hit a growth spurt or he wasn't feeling good today. He nursed all day and would hardly let me set him down. He weighs the same as his 2 year old sister now and its hard on his old mom! :p Nothing real eventful happened today except that my brother showed his ass but what else is new. Nothing horrible, hes just an immature ass-hole. I'm gonna lay down on the couch now and watch Evolution with Josh if I make it that long.

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Becky had a boy!!
Now Kayla if you have a girl, I can officially open my psychic hotline. ROLF!
Becky's (mehndi mama) baby was born at home (she had a UC) and the birth was completley normal. She and baby are doing well. (I you know her, you know her history so I won't go into details) He was a big boy apparently, she hadn't ruled out twins even though she only detected one heartbeat. (that would have driven me crazy!)

Nothing I have tried is letting Dawson sleep longer in the morning. Yesterday he was up before 5! Last night I tried changing his diaper before I went to bed. No luck, he was up at 5:30 again. Arrrrgggghhh!
We are off this morning to spend the day with my mom and daddy. Mom is leaving early tomorrow to spend 3 weeks with my sister's family in MI. I know she doesn't get to see Jonathan and Zachary (grandsons) very often, but I think it sucks that I won't have my mom for 3 weeks and poor Megan is gonna miss her like crazy!