My house hasn't seen this much order in I don't know how long.

I was so frazzled earlier that I totally forgot to mention that we had an awesome time yesterday with Corrie and Julie Ann. Laura went to the wrong McD's. :( I definitly wish Corrie lived closer, she was a lot of fun to talk to and her girls were a lot of fun too. Julie Ann's little boy is getting so tall. I love his hair too. :) D won't let me say more than that so I'll leave it at that. We had a great morning and next time I head up to Michigan I am definitly coming home through Van Wert. :)

I hate days like this
I would rather the whole day start off shitty than to turn toward the toilet midway! It looks like I'm having the party here at our house tomorrow instead of outside at my IL's as planned before. The forecast is calling for rain all day tomorrow and his Nanny is sick so we can't do it inside over there. Thankfully I started back to Flylady the other day. I've done a few "27 fling boogies" and purged a whole shit load of mags. J's FHM mags (aka light porn) got tossed and he lost a pile of car mags too but so be it, I can't hold onto that shit when we move, so it might as well go now. I had D down for a nap and we nursing Megan when the day went down hill. I couldn't get her to stop touching and pinching on me , I wanted her hands at her side and she started screaming and woke up Dawson. Its been over an hour and he won't go back to sleep. After getting out my frustration, I told her that from now on she had to pick a toy to hold while she nurses. Hopefully in a bit she will go down for a nap and then he will and I can get some work done on the house. I am so stressed it isn't funny.

I have to:
Bake a cake and cookies
prepare veggie tray (tomorrow)
prepare baked nacho dip (tomorrow)
label boxes and take to garage (J's job)
clean out bay window
call everyone and tell them the change in place
dust mop and mop wood floors
vacuum carpet
put away a stack of books
clean the play room
straiten up the laundry room
clean back bathroom (J's job)
fold laundry
clean and declutter kitchen


Off I go to nurse M to sleep (she has a special Mrs. Puddleduck toy to hold ;)) and then get to work. RaRa is coming over at 4 to play with the kids while I bake.

Dawson Lee Clark’s birth story
Let me preface this by saying that I made some choices during this labor that I will never repeat. I am at peace with them now, but won't repeat them.

I woke up on 8/30/01 to use the bathroom at around 4:00am. When I returned to bed, Megan stirred and I nursed her back to sleep. At around 4:15 I had my first really intense contraction of the day. I had another one a few minutes later and couldn’t get comfortable so I asked Josh where his stopwatch was and I got up to time them. They were anywhere from 4-10 minutes apart for the first few hours. Josh got up soon after me and while I rested, he started nesting.  I called my midwife at 5:30 and gave her a heads up. She gave me some tips for getting things moving like breathing deeply and tummy massage. I called her every hour for the next few hours and by the middle of the day, things had slowed way down. I was getting frustrated because I would have these really strong double peaked contractions that took my attention away completely. But, they were 20-30 minutes apart with just a few tummy tightening ones here and there. I asked finally about what I could do to further get this moving because I was tired and I had my friend there to take care of Megan, Josh was off work, etc…I just wanted it to happen today and not 2 days from now! She said to give her an hour or so and she would come by with some things I could try. In the meantime we took a long brisk walk and got Megan good and tired for a nap. While my friend Robin was out driving Megan around to put her to sleep, Josh and I spent some time alone. ;) That seemed to do something because my contractions got more regular by the time my midwife showed up. She went over using her double electric pump, castor oil and blue and black cohosh. I started with the castor oil and pumping. I soon decided that the castor oil was working and stopped everything but the castor oil. I was definitely in labor by that point and had to go lay down while Josh got my birthing tub set up. I was never so happy as when I sat down in that warm water. In the meantime, my friend was trying to reach Courtney (my midwife) by her cell phone and home phone and I was freaking because we couldn’t get an answer. I then had her call Karen (the midwife she teams up with who was also going to be at the birth) and we couldn’t get her either. It turns out that she was outside and we didn’t wait long enough for her answering machine. She did have call waiting though and called back. Then Courtney called and could tell by the tone in my voice that she needed to get there.

My contractions were very intense. It may have been because of the castor oil, it may not. But, my midwife said later that she rarely hears of women having contractions in more than a few places even with labor enhancement. I was feeling them equally as strong in my tummy, back, legs (from hip to knee), cervix and rectum. Courtney showed up and started getting things set up while Josh fought off anxiety in the bathroom. I got up to use the bathroom and decided to brush my teeth and ended up throwing up. 
I asked to be checked at some point because I was getting so frustrated at how long the day had become. I was at 7 and that was re-assuring to me that I was at least getting there and that it would be over in the next hour or two. That was the only time I was “checked.” It was very soon after that that I entered the transitional stage. I couldn’t get comfortable. I knew I needed to change positions, but I just couldn’t find a way to stay comfortable and relax. Josh was wonderful. He stopped if I told him to, he was encouraging, never said things to me like “you need to focus.” When I got to the point where I was saying “I can’t do it, I want this to be over!!!” and “I want DRUGS!” He reminded me why we were at home and prayed over me. I got up to use the bathroom right before I felt the urge to push and breathed through some on the toilet. Everyone thought I was going to stay there but I made it back to the water.

Suddenly, there was no way I couldn’t push! The urge was SO strong and I could feel his head. I remember in the hospital giving birth to Megan that I had the “poopy pressure” but didn’t have the overwhelming urge to push that I was experiencing. I pushed a few times in a partially reclined sitting position and then got on my knees and leaned on the pool for a little while. That felt good, but my feet started to go numb so I went back to the sitting position. The whole time Josh sat behind me and let me sqeeze his hands. There were times when Courtney and Karen asked if he wanted to come around and look and I wouldn’t let him. He stayed right where I wanted him. I pushed only during the contraction when I felt the strongest urge and I just held it for as long as I could. I felt the water release right before his head started to bulge. As the head started to come through, the pain was more of a burning one. Courtney told me later that she was trying to get me to breath through a little. I didn’t hear her…how was I supposed to breath though though!? I mean, the head was there. I could feel it and it hurt like hell…I wanted it OUT! I tore at that point in the same spot the medwife cut me last time.  His body was born with the next contraction. We called Robin and Megan in for that last push. Poor Megan was an emotional wreck when she saw that tiny baby laying on my chest. She screamed for “Mama” and “booby” and even “baby.” I held him on my chest while Courtney got him crying. I wanted to keep the sex a secret (even from myself) for just a little longer and then I looked and yelled “A boy!” My friend Robin was crying at that point and I just sat there proud of myself and happy for my little family to be expanded with the birth of a son and brother. His apgars were 8 and 9.

The phone rang all day long so it wasn’t a surprise when it rang a minute later and my parents were calling from the car in our driveway to find out what was going on. They were instructed to wait outside and we would let them know when they could come in. Josh went ahead and called his parents too. Robin took Megan and went outside where Megan continued to cry “Mama, Baby, Booby!!!” I felt so badly for her! I know it was a very hard day for her.

They got me cleaned up and closed my tear with super glue. Then we let the grandparents have a look at him. They did his assessment and dressed him in a cloth diaper, gown and hat. That first night was a long tiring one. I didn’t sleep until close to 5am because he would wake up everytime I tried to lay him down next to me. I guess he liked his milk from the start .

I have been asked many times if I would do it again and the answer is “YES!” Even though it wasn’t easy and it hurt like hell, I won’t subject another child to hospital routine the way I did Megan. (of course it would be different if we had to go than it would be to go there electively.)

they are just melting away
The pounds that is. I've had 3 different people tell me in the past 2 days that I look like I've lost a lot of weight. The jeans I bought last spring are getting enormous on me and they are a size 12. I have a pair of 14s that I finally got rid of too. The pants I just made are even a bit too big. I'm glad I'm losing weight but a bit disappointed that all my clothes are getting too big again.

My sink is clean, I have bleach water in one side and I'm going to let it sit until I go to bed. I can only do one side though because I ran out of bleach and in my sink, the more toxic the better. I don't even want to think about it. GAG! Oh, don't tell but I did it all in bare feet. LOL

I'm really excited about tomorrow. I have the camera in the car so it won't be forgotten and have put out clothes for myself and as soon as I finish here will get the kids stuff ready so I'm not too rushed in the morning. :D

Here is the recipe for the soup I made today...

Sort through a bag of navy beans and then rinse and soak them overnight
The next morning, saute a chopped onion and some carrots and garlic in butter. Put the beans in the crockpot and cover with clean water. Add a can of veggie (or chicken) broth and 4 oz of cream cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste and then add the onion saute and stir. Cook several hours on high and then turn down to low.

Annie inspired me

To get ready for our upcoming move, I just rejoined fly-lady. I hope I can stick with it this time. I really have a lot of junk to get rid of though! (if Josh will let me that is, I swear he feels happy with junky stuff all around him, can't live without it.)

Yesterday we ran around all day. But, first Dawson had to take a nap. His schedule is all wonky right now. I guess teething, walking and this cold have him out of sorts. The night before he was up til 10:30 and then woke up by 7:30 yesterday morning. His nap was 4 freakin hours long!!! It was wonderful, but wow! I was getting worried abouit him. He was SO happy when he woke up so he definitly needed that! We went to big lots for some party plates and stuff and then to Target for favors and presents for D. I got him a pounding toy (wooden toy with block nails and a hammer. He likes to do this at my mom's) and a musical toy. Oh, and I got Megan the cutest pair of flair-leg black leggings. They were only $4.99! :) Then we went to Sam's for some food stock up items and a few things for the party. I'm making a baked nacho dip, veggies and dip and cake and ice cream. I can't believe my boy will be 1 tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow...I am meeting Corrie and Julie Ann and possibly Laura/zenmama tomorrow at the science center. Since its free and the butterfly exhibit is still up I thought that would be the nicest place for everyone to go. I can't wait ladies!

Tomorrow in honor of Dawson's birthday I will post his home-birth story.

age I am - 26
people i have slept with - One (awww :p)
age when i lost my virginity - 21
times i have been in love - 1
times i have had my heart broken - I don't think I ever have
hearts i have broken - I dunno, one or two.
months i have been single - I'm not.
continents i have visited - Only this one.
age when i first flew all alone - 8, tho I wasn't exactly all alone, my 5 year old brother was with me. I flew alone again when I was 15
number of boys i have kissed - 4, keep in mind that I've been with Josh since I was 16
number of girls i have kissed - besides family, none
number of grades i got at school that were less than A - Geez, most of them? I was a B avg student most of the time though I did get my share of A's.
suicide attempts that actually weren't- none
types of drugs taken illegally - none
drugs i am addicted to right now - none, though Mike's Hard Lemonade would be a possible addiction of I could afford the stuff more often. lol
number of people i would classify as true, i could trust with my life type friends - A very small handful
number of people from [high school] that i will stay in contact with - less than 5
number of people in [high school] that i have snogged - 1, I married him (assuming snogged means that I slept with him. lol)
number of piercings - Just my ears but I never wear anything in them. I am planning my eyebrow as soon as Dawson quits grabbing at my glasses.
number of tattoos - None yet.
number of times my name has appeared on film credits - none
number of things in my past that I regret - That I didn't live my life more before I had children.

Check out my new sticker thingy to your left. It seems to have killed my weather pixie though. Maybe she is just out to lunch and will be back momentarily...

I haven't done this one yet, I didn't do as bad as I feared (lol)

You are 10% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

I feel so sorry for Mimi sometimes

Tonight she took a really late nap because she had a really bad tantrum and I put her to bed. She nursed for a few min and was asleep within a min of me leaving the room. I then woke her up at close to 8 and wanted her to eat something and play a bit before going to bed for the night. She didn't wake up well but was fine after I sat down for a short time to nurse her. She played and Josh fixed her an egg. I spent some time sewing in the back of the house (I'm making a hot pair of camel brown ultra-suede hipster pants) and then Josh said he was feeling really rough so I stopped and cleaned up everything while convincing him to try some grapefruit seed extract. He choked it down and Megan was getting sleepy so I convinced her to nurse a bit because J wasn't feeling well hoping she would go to sleep. She was just settling in and closing her eyes when Dawson started stirring. I had to set her down and go to him. ;( Poor girl is always second fiddle to the baby. No wonder she rarely acts like she likes him.

This morning was rough. Dawson is still a bit sick so I decided to keep him home from church. Josh got ready and went to the early service. My plans were to put D down for a nap after J got hom and take Megan to church for the second service. I am always in the nursery and they depend on me since they have trouble for some reason getting enough volunteers. Well, I got him to sleep and then the fucking tv came on as I was sneaking away! I don't know what happened since the remote was sitting on the bedside table...the only thing I can imagine is that when the power went out the night before, the setting on the tv got messed up and coincidently it just happened as soon as I got the baby to sleep. I tried to settle him and he just persisted in staying awake so I got frustrated and quit. To be honest I was totally pissed off and had to spend some time to myself. I don't know why sometimes things like that trigger me. I hate having an idea of how things will be and then it not happening. I need to work on that.

We spent the rest of the day at the IL's house. Josh cleaned out the pool and filled it up. We all got in it and Dawson had a grand time. I can't believe he will be 1 on Friday!!! I'll have to dig out my birth story in honor of his birthday. I have a big week planned...

Tomorrow night Robin is coming over for our crafting night. Josh gets to be in charge of both kids for awhile! I am hoping that we can make a trip to Sam's either tomorrow or tuesday. I also need to go to Party City for cups and plates and will get some favors at Target probably. I want to have 12 aprons done (except for the velcro which I haven't bought yet) by the end of the week and I hope to finish the pants by then too. Saturday night I will bake the cake and get everything ready to have his party on Sunday. I still don't know what to get him. Any ideas of a gift for a 1 year old boy who is also the second child?