Megan woke up at 6ish, asked for some water and then promply threw up everywhere. Nice. Thankfully she was laying in the crib/side car when it happened and not on my bed. So, she got up and laid down on the couch with her daddy for a bit and I figured that we wouldn't be going to the World Breastfeeding Walk today. Well, it was raining when I got up so I figured then that it was cancelled and a call to Sarah confirmed that so we are vegging in front of the TV waiting for Tropical Storm Hannah to dump on us. We can use the rain but I'm pretty sure we could do without a whole tropical storm. Oh well. I'll make a pot of Chili and we'll survive. :) We need groceries so I'll go to the grocery store and look like everyone else buying the bread and milk because ya know, when bad weather comes you might be stuck inside for a couple of hours and you wouldnt' want to lose power or anything so you better be well stocked with milk and bread. LOL

My parents are going to Michigan next tuesday for a week. They are going because my brother has a boo boo in his head (as Deb would say) I suspect he is manic because I've watched him cycle for years in and out of his depression. Now he is 40 and has watched his life go by and has nothing to show for himself. No wife, kids, career, nothing. I feel for him. I really do. I wish he had gotten help a long time ago and have talked with my sister about this many times in the past as he lives closer to her than anyone. I have wanted her to try to help him. I guess she has tried but its up to him of course to really help himself. He emailed my mom a few weeks ago and blamed everything on my daddy. Daddy didn't have a male role-model growing up. His dad wasn't around. He drank a lot and worked a lot and his mom ruled the roost I suppose. Actually he and his brother raised themselves for the most part. Anyhoo, he didn't know how to be a role-model because he never had one. I think he was a good and loving father but he wasn't everhthing that my brothers needed and I do feel that they might have turned out better if Daddy been a better role model to them. But, in the end, they are responsible for themselves! Daddy had no one to turn to as a child except his brother BUT, he went on to join the army and then got a teaching degree and a masters degree, a wife and 4 kids. John apparently thinks that something is owed to him and Thomas OBVIOUSLY does! I don't know what they are going to do for him in a week but they are going up to spend time with him. Daddy doesn't know he has been vilified and mom has decided to let John tell him anything he wants him to know himself which I agree with despite mom's pastor (he has family counseling training dontcha know? Hes a professional LOL) telling her that daddy should read the emails. I suggested that they ask him to move closer to us. Not with them by any means but if he is close by maybe they can work through this with a family counselor and everyone can heal. Hell, I think we ALL could benifit from this but I think my brothers and mom need it more than anyone. The dynamics in my family (while I have seen far worse) are atrocious and my mom is the worst of us all (but you better not tell her that unless you are prepared for the drama that will surely follow!). Ahh, thats another rant for another day though.

Actually I do have another rant! I just changed it over to CBS for Nick Jr Saturday morning and found some pre-teen bullshit where Bob the Builder was supposed to be! :( What happened to Saturday morning cartoons for the kids? Not everyone is privlidged enough to have Nickelodian and Disney Channel! /rant

out of nowhere
In the middle of the night Megan came to bed with me and she was burning up. She nursed and I made sure she didn't get over heated. It was all I could do. She was resting fine so I didn't need to give her anything to help her be comfortable. This morning she kept talking about pooping and sat and sat and never got anything moving along so I assumed shewas constipated along with having the temp. Her temp has been as high as 102 and as low as 100. I tried to get her to use the bathroom by giving baths, offering lots of water, prune juice (she wouldnt' touch it) and bran muffins. My parents brought by the juice and muffins and mom was SO concerned about the fever. She kept telling me "you HAVE to get that down." I explained that I believed that temperatures as long as they weren't super high (104 is uncomforably hight for me) and didn't stay up for a long time were normal and were there to fight off the bug. She says "no they aren't NORMAL, you HAVE to get it down to what IS NORMAL!" Sigh. I told her that I disagreed and that I wasn't going to medicate my daughter for a less than 101* temp. They have gone home thankfully. But, my MIL found out she wasn't feeling good (because I had called over there and asked Nanny's caregiver if they had any prune juice and MIL called a few times to offer her suggestions (not that I asked for them.). I told her that I would keep the suppositories in mind and get one if Megan got uncomfortable. At that point she was playing in the bath with Dawson and was fine. About an hour 1/2 later she was frustrated though so I got one and cut it down small and it did help her. I was well aware of my options and didn't need anyones suggestions!!! What is it with grandparents? LOL I finally called Josh and told him he needed to talk to his mom. If they are going to live right next door I didn't need them breathing down my neck everytime my child is sick. I'll have to quit telling them anything because I get so tired of the "Bless her heart, he/she is SICK!!!" at every sniffle. Josh agreed. I hope the talk is soon because I'm getting so tired of it. Its not like I'm a new mommy (not that it matters, advice should be asked for, not solicited). I have 2 kids and think I do just fine. When I need help I ask for it. I don't dare tell her we don't have health insurance!

Things went amazingly well this morning

Mom came to get Megan when we were eating breakfast and I dressed her and fed her really quick. We had one more talk about how Grandma would take her to her class and then go to a different room. I told her she would be close by and if she was upset and needed her that Grandma would come back for her. I hyped it up and told her about the activities and snack and playing outside with lots of other kids. She was insistant on trying it. I am SOOO proud of my little girl. :-) She never got scared or cried for Grandma. She had a great time and says she wants to go back next time too. I am so relieved. She is such a brave girl! This is a big step for her...HUGE!

Dawson is cracking me up lately

He LOVES music. We have the neurosmith "music blocks" and he will go over and hit one of the blocks and when it starts playing he gets a really adorable grin on his face and starts head banging. He is trying to walk everywhere and that is too cute too! He holds his arms up in the air for balance and he doesn't move his upper body at all unless he moves his head to look at me and he will fall down. Anyway, his legs move at the hip and his butt wobbles back and forth. His steps are so tiny that it takes him forever to get anywhere but its so cute! Tonight we went to the park and practiced walking on rocks and on the uneven ground. He was whipped and went right to sleep when we started nursing. (he probably would have gone to sleep much sooner but I tried to keep him up as long as he was happy.)

I have the headache from hades and just took an aleve and will now crawl in bed. (this might be a record bedtime for me!)

9-11

Everywhere I go I see signs out in front of churches, schools, community buildings and along side the road advertising memorial services and prayer meetings to remember the events of last sept. I don't have a huge problem with the concept of remembering or memorializing those who lose their lives in an act of war. What is sad though is that Memorial Day as a holiday has just become another long weekend to vacation with the family. I went to the program that was done locally this past year and took the kids. There were only a few dozen people there! Why are the memories of those who lost their lives in war (many of whom were drafted and did NOT go into the military willingly) so easily glanced over occasionly and most often forgotten? I understnad that 9-11 came suddenly and all, but it seems to me that many of these events are happening because cities/churches/groups don't want to be caught NOT having one. I have no plans to go to any meetings. If my church were holding one (which they are not other than normal Wed. night services which we don't go to) I would not go. Not because I am afraid of another attack, here in this area, its not a fear but if it were I am at peace with tomorrow. The same goes for the televisions stations/companies who buy commercial air time. I remember last year when tv went back to regular programing, companies really tread lightly in their attempt to sell to Americans. THere was a lot of talk about what was appropriate and when. I respected that then. Americans had just sat in front of thier televisions for almost a week watching the horror replay over and over again. Now though, I don't see why it would be any less appropriate to see a regular ol' coke commercial tomorrow than any other day of the year. I dunno, I guess that if people were able to look at tomorrow as they would any other day of the year, there wouldn't be such a problem of treading lightly and maintaining what is "PC." Thats just my opinion from where I stand though. I'm not a New Yorker nor have I ever visited there or Washington. I hate that anyone lost thier lives last year on that day but I am just tired of it all and want life to once again go back to normal. I'll be glad when tomorrow is over.

in other news...
Tomorrow Megan is going to Bible Study with my mom. They have a 2-5 year old program that runs at the same time as the adult one. Mom wants to try and take her and I've agreed to let her give it a shot. Megan and I have talked about it a few times and I'm not positive she understands what will happen., but she has been told that I won't be there and that Mama Beam will be close by but not right there with her. She still says she wants to go so far. Mom is going to come early and try to get her settled in before she goes to her study group. I have also given mom explicit instructions that I do not want her stressed about this at all. If M cries and doesn't want to go in the class, mom said she would stay in there with her until it was over or bring her home. I'm going to stay by my phone and I want mom to call me if she gets her in the room. I have been praying that if its not the right decision to send her that I will feel that way. So far I am totally at peace with the decision to let her go so I guess we'll see what happens. Josh isn't so sure, but he just doesn't trust my mom completely. I don't either for the record, but it would be differnet if mom were taking her shopping alone, I wouldn't let that happen. Oh well, cross your fingers and say a little prayer that all goes well in the morning.

more stupidity
I had a huge list of errands to run in Granite Falls today since I didn't want to ride all the way to Hickory and everything could be done right close together. I got a money order from the bank (we ran out of checks DOH!), a birthday present for my mom at the gift shop and had called my dad to meet him at the gas station (he gives me gas tickets he wins on the electric poker machine :-D). I was passing the library and saw a friend I needed to talk to and decided to turn around and go back. I had a huge bag of books that needed to be returned anyway. Well, it just happened to be storytime so we stayed for that. There was one other girl and her mom there that I know and a grandma with her infant grandson. When we were leaving, I saw her putting him into the front of her brand new model Impala. It was rear-facing of course so I put D in his seat and walked around to the other side and got her attention. I asked if there was a working airbag there and she said there was. I nicely informed her that it wasn't safe to put a baby in the front seat of a car with an airbag. I told her that if there was an accident and the bag went off he could be seriously hurt by it. She glared at me opened her car door and got in. I wish I had thought to write down her liscense plate number. I can't believe she could stand there and hear that and still be ok with her decision. She didn't ask how to change it or anything! :-(

Yesterday we stayed home all afternoon. Josh had to mow the dealership lawn (made $55), my parents lawn and then ours! He was beat but Megan had been promised that we would go somewhere. I first thought we would go to the park but he was too tired so I decided that it was more like an ice cream night. lol. I had made a stir fry with brocolli, carrots, spinach and sweet peas with tofu. I made brown rice to go with and I thought it was yummy but it wasn't what J was in the mood for so he got a sandwhich for dinner and at the stirfry for lunch today. (He did say it was good btw)

Today we went to art at the resource center and then home for naps. After D's nap we went to the salvage. I love this place! Today I spent $15 and got 3 boxes of organic butter (freezing the extra), a carton of organic milk, 3 small containers of organic yogurt, a fresh pineapple a canteloupe, 2 packages of fresh sweet snap peas (that are now frozen), fresh leaf lettuce and a few other odds and ends. I cut up the pinapple and made PB&J (honey for me) sandwiches for dinner and ate them with the pineapple, some yogurt and some canteloupe we cut up a few days ago. I did some sewing today but my sewing machine is making a strange noise so I guess I"ll be calling the shop in the morning. grrr! Oh, we did have one neat thing happen. I was sitting at the back door sewing and my mom was in the living room with Megan (D was crawling around and around the dining room under me). I kept hearing a squeaking noise and D was standing at the door looking into the garage so I got up to see what was going on. The cat had a tiny baby mouse and was playing with it in the garage. I figured that poor mouse was going to die a slow death so I got a paper cup and caught it. Megan thought it was so cute. We took it out to the field behind our house and let the poor guy go.